'चाईनिज नही भैया ..... सिक्किमिज़'

A funny poem depicting how students of Sikkim and North Eastern States are called chinki and chinese in the main land India and treated as outsiders.

अकस्मात, झटारिएर,
उछिटिएर, लड़बरिन्दै,
म कहाँ आईपुगेछु !
अस्त ब्यस्त शहर,
मान्छेको भीड र हतार
म यो कहाँ आईपुगेछु ?

पहिलो दिनमै,
केहि छिनमै
जता ततै 'ए चिंकी'
'ए चाईनिज' मात्र सुन्छु,
आफ्नै मूल आफ्नै देशमा
बिदेशी भनिन्दा
कता कता उदास हुन्छु ||

'चाईना नही सिक्किम'
भन्दै बुझाउनु खोज्दा
'ये सिक्किम कहाँ पड़ता है ?'
भन्ने अफ्ठ्यारो प्रस्न पाउछु
'इंडियामे ही पड़ता है भैया !'
भन्दै आफ्नो बाटो तताउछु ||

हन, कहिले कहिँ त
आफैलाई प्रस्न गरि पठाऊछु
म पनि भारतीय नै होइन र ?
इंडियाले वर्ल्ड-कप जित्दा
के म उफ्री-उफ्री नाचिन र ?
हाम्रो राष्ट्रिय गान बज्दा
के हामी उठ्दिनौ र ?
'कालो धन फर्काऊ'
भन्दै अन्ना बाजे अनसन बस्दा
के हामीपनि भोक भोकै बसेनौ र ?

तरै पनि खै त,
'सिक्किम कहाँ पड़ता है ?' भन्छन....
'नेपालमे कि चाइनामे ?' सोधछन् ....
हन, सानो छदा भूगोलमा
इंडियाको म्याप हेरेनछन् कि कसो?
छ्यास्स उक्सिएर उभो निस्केको सिक्किम
देखेनछन् कि कसो ?

कि त सिक्किमको समाचार
आज तक र इंडिया टिवी तिर नआएर हो
कि सिक्किमको IPL को टिम नभएर हो ?
कि हामी  एति शान्त स्वभावको  भएर हो
सिक्किमलाई धेरै नचिनेको......

हन, हाम्रो आँखा चिम्से नै भए पनि
हामी ह्यान्डसम र ब्यूटीफुल  नै छौ
नाइटोमा हामी प्यान्ट लाउदैनौ,
मुरीले जुत्ता छोपदैनौ,
चप्पलमा टाई लाउदैनौ ||

तर हामी कहिले तिमीलाई हेरेर हाँसछौ र ?
सिक्किमतिर आउदा तिमीलाई
नाईजेरियन र अफ्रिकन भन्छौ र ?
फेरी हामी चै किन आफ्नै देशमा
भारतीय जस्तो नठानिएको ?
किन अर्कै ग्रहको प्रजाति
जस्तो मानिएको ??

त्यसैले दाह्रा किट्दै भएपनि
'सिक्किम इंडियामे पड़ता है' भन्दैछु
नबुज्नेलाई खुर्पाको बेड़ भने जस्तै
'चाईनिज नही..... सिक्किमिज़' बुझाऊदैछु  ||

Note: Not meant to harm the sentiments of any.

- Amir Bhandari

Soreng, W/Sikkim

Confused and dazed.....

I stretched my fingers..... stretched my back..... took the pen in hand..... ready to flood the answer sheets with all that I knew as today was the exam of my favorite subject [or at least thats what I thought!]. Took a last look around the class as I knew that I wouldn't be getting time to look around because I had too much to write.....

The coordinator came distributing the question paper and I was eager to take it in my hand and just start.... And the moment came...... I took a deep breath and looked at the first question.

Q.1. Answer any four from the following.
a) What is controlling? Write down its features and methods?

hmmm?? controlling?? in Web Tech?? Did I miss this topic?? Thank god.... there are choices!! I look at the second question:

b) Explain briefly Six Sigma.

Six Sigma?? I scratch my head.... I know one statement about Six Sigma..... "Six Sigma is a business management strategy, originally developed by Motorola, USA in 1986."
But what does this has to do with Web Tech? Where did the ASP, JSP, ASP.NET, AJAX, XML go?

Confused like hell, I gave a frightful look at the top of the question paper, in uppercase it was written INDUSTRIAL MANAGEMENT. I dont remember what kind of expression I gave but I am sure it wasn't normal.The coordinator thought I was going to pass out, came quickly towards me and asked, 'beta kya hua?'

'Sir, are you sure you have given us the correct question paper?'
'yes!! why..... what happened?'

'It is Web Tech exam today!' I boosted with confidence.
He smiled and went away.....

I remember somewhere I have read, being silent is sometimes the best way to win an argument, simply because you cannot argue with silence. I understood the meaning clearly today. He made me understand that I was wrong by simply remaining silent.

I looked around.... everyone was busy with their pens. Pravesh looking at me bewildered..... hiding his anger and frustration with a big smile.

'Juum?' he murmured....
Though there is literally no meaning to the above statement in Nepali but as usual I understood he was referring to 'lets go!'

But both of us knew that this process doesn't support backward compatibility, i.e. we couldn't leave. And we had to be there for the next 3 hours answering all the questions that seems like a distant cry.

Like the famous nepali proverb, 'kun chara ko naam ho?' meaning 'which birds name is it?'
The question indeed seem like a birds name to me....

I started performing random access to the address of my memory to see if the chunk of files saved in the unknown tracks and sectors of my brain could be restored. I tried all the recovery tools and techniques to recover and luckily some packets that weren't deleted from the memory though overwritten by other files could be restored.

Doing the maximum utilization of the available resources, I was able to fill up the answer sheet. But there was no need to do error checking as it would lead to the error in all the files, so I decided to leave the process of error detection and checking to our beloved sir.

Hoping he will be in good mood while checking the paper!!

- Amir Bhandari
Soreng, West Sikkim

About the Author:
He is an engineering student who has great passion in writing. Many of his articles have been published in this blog. His articles has a comic portrayal of day to day happenings.

[Visit his blog.....]

Beware of Fraud E-Mails

I was on my first year of diploma when I saw the mail congratulating me for winning 15000000 Pounds. I pinched myself to confirm that I wasn't dreaming. The pattern of the mail and everything was so much real that I was compelled to believe it.

I started dreaming about big cars, fancy bungalows and all that I could buy with that amount. I started hating my studies because I had won an amount that I couldn't earn in decades and decades. I kept the whole thing secret as I thought people would hack into my account and take my prize money.

Next day, I wrote a reply, checked and rechecked it several times before sending it. After a couple of minutes I got a reply from the other side which asked me to complete all the necessary paper work as soon as possible to claim the money.

This reply again ignited fire in my mind. And I was sure that I was the lucky one. I thanked god and thought that I must have done something good in my past life whose fruit I am getting to enjoy in this life. I sent them all the information that they has asked like my name, age, banking info, etc. etc.

The next mail of theirs completely startled me. They had asked me $15000 as service charge. And claimed that once they receive the amount they would transfer the amount to my account. That put me into tension. I went to one of the faculty with the problem and thats when the dream broke(for the good reason).

Recently I even heard a case where a person sold all his belonging to pay for the service tax[I dont want to disclose his name and address, of course from our state]. Feel so sorry for him.

Leaving all those comic events of my foolishness, lets come to the point. The emails or sms that we receive claiming to be from big MNC's about lottery is completely fraud. Even the chain emails that claims to transfer money to our account if we forward the mail is fraud.

The mails may look completely genuine but guess how many masterminds will be working in it? It should and would look genuine.....

An example mail is given below:

Mr. Pinkket Griffin	Tue, Apr 10, 2012 at 11:55 PM
To: skmstudent@gmail.com
Batch number.....................YM 09102XN Reff number........................YM35447XN Winning number...................YM09788 Congratulations Lucky Winner, We acknowledge the receipt of the requested data and the confirmation of your reliability in this universal program. Do note that I have forwarded the produced data, to the head counselors of THE G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) and the ELITE COURIER SHIPPING AGENCY Headquarters in UNITED KINGDOM . Your donation cheque and other document to facilitate the legal cashing of the cheque as the recipient, has been signed and delivered to the head office of the ELITE COURIER. Kindly note the ELITE COURIER office in UK will facilitate the delivery of your donation to you immediately. You have been awarded a donation cheque from the G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS(UK) the sum of 1,000,000 Great Britain Pounds and also this is a donation from the G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK)

As you have already been informed, this donation is given out randomly to worldwide individuals, for their personal business development and enhancement of their educational plans. The objective is to make a notable change in the standard of living of people all around the Universe (From America to Europe, Asia to Africa and all around), probably like in the next 20yrs. This what the G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) have decided to do. The G Gmail BAORD has been able to raise over 20 billion Pounds since 1901, and will be using it according to Company Facilities to make a notable change between now and the next 20 yrs.

The G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) and international organizers of this program has discovered a huge number of double claims due to beneficiaries informing close friends relatives, attorneys and third parties about their donations. As a result of this, this close friends relatives, attorneys and third parties try to claim the prize on behalf of the real Winner.

The G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) has also lost millions of dollars to this fraudulent people, and have reached a decision from its headquarters that any double claim discovered by The Company, will result to the G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) office canceling that particular donation, making a loss for both the ghost claimer and the real beneficiary, as it will be taken that the real recipient was the informer to the ghost claimer about the donation. So you are hereby advised once more to keep all your donation information strictly confidential from third parties like friends, family, colleagues, attorneys until your award has been fully delivered and cashed.

This are the people most likely to try to claim the donation on your behalf as the G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) has discovered double claims from the above listed possibilities before now. We are sorry for any inconveniences this might cause, but be informed that the G Gmail AWARD TEAM HEADQUARTERS (UK) has lost millions of dollars and pounds on double claims and is doing everything possible to reduce this.

Included on this email, is your Winning No. to be used when claiming your donation. Your donation WINNING No : YM09788. This number should be kept strictly confidential by you, as you will use it in receiving your award funds.

You are to immediately contact the Payment officer in the ELITE office in UNITED KINGDOM for claim of your donation. Please do contact the officer in the below information.

CONTACT INFORMATION.
================================

Elite Worldwide & Cargo Deliveries.

Head Office & Accounts

Elite House,Oldham Street

M1 9JQ Manchester , England.

Name: Mr.Moore Russell

E-mail: elitecourier_delivery2012@hotmail.co.uk

Fax Number:+447011142165

Phone Number: +447014236137

================================

Do note that on contact with Barrister. Moore Russell (elitecourier_delivery2012@hotmail.co.uk), you are to provide him the following details

1)Full Names
2(Full Residential Address
3)Telephone Numbers
4)Occupation
5)Age

This will enable the ELITE COURIER office to verify your claim with the files which have been sent to them and facilitate the immediately dispatch of your donation cheque and related document.

Please contact

Barrister Moore Russell immediately.

Signed, Dr. Pinkett Griffin.
Verification Award Office



So next time if you happen to receive this type of mail then all you need to do is ignore it.

-Amir Bhandari,
Soreng
[Published by SSG for the benefit of masses.]